While divorce can be challenging, it is often the healthiest decision when relationships become unhealthy or unsafe. Parents may choose to divorce for a variety of reasons, including infidelity, ongoing conflict, substance use, domestic violence, or other deeply personal challenges. For many families, ending a difficult marriage brings relief and opens the door to a more stable and peaceful environment for everyone involved.

Still, even when it’s the right decision, divorce can affect children differently, and teenagers may be especially vulnerable. Caught between childhood and adulthood, teens are already navigating major emotional and developmental changes, which can intensify the stress of a family breakup.

Learn how divorce impacts teenagers, what parents should watch for, and how to support teens through the impacts of this transition.

The Effects of Divorce on Teens

Teenagers often exhibit different challenges compared to younger children or adults when experiencing this life change. Teenagers are figuring out who they are, seeking independence, and dealing with social pressures. These factors make the effects of divorce on teens especially challenging and long-lasting if they’re not addressed and supported.

Emotional and psychological effects

Divorce can lead to a range of emotions for teenagers, including sadness, anger, anxiety, and confusion, though every teen’s experience is unique. When teens internalize these feelings, it can lead to mood swings, teen depression, or self-blame. Some teens may feel abandoned or struggle with low self-esteem while their parents are going through a divorce. Even teens who don’t show any outward signs of emotional or psychological problems often still tackle painful feelings about the changing family dynamic during a separation.

Behavioral changes

While some teens internalize their feelings, others may express them through changes in their behavior. Some might become more rebellious or test boundaries as they try to make sense of what’s happening. Others could engage in risky behavior, like experimenting with substances, or may simply need more space and time to themselves, which can look like withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed. 

It’s important to remember that these behaviors are often ways of coping, and with understanding and support, many teens are able to navigate these changes in healthy ways.

Social problems

The impact of divorce on teenagers can also extend to their social lives. If the divorce means moving to a new home or city, they may face the challenge of teenage loneliness with trying to make new friends and adjust to a different school or community. While these transitions can be difficult, many teens gradually adapt and find new ways to connect socially and enjoy activities again with time and support.

Strained parent-teen relationships

Depending on your unique situation, divorce can sometimes create strain on the relationship between teens and their parents. If teens are caught in the middle of parental conflicts, pressured to take sides, or used as messengers, it can damage their trust in both parents. Crossing these boundaries can strain the parent-teen relationship and make teens feel stuck in adult problems. 

Some teens are forced to grow up quickly, taking on caregiving roles or emotional burdens as children and adolescents—something known as parentification. These added responsibilities can strain their relationship with their parents, potentially leading to emotional distance or feelings of resentment.

Long-term concerns

Without proper support, some teens may experience emotional and behavioral challenges that can persist over time. A 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that teens with divorced parents had more emotional and behavioral problems that persisted over time compared to teens without divorced parents. 

However, with early intervention and care, many teens are able to build resilience and manage their mental health effectively. While there can be an increased risk of issues like depression or anxiety in adulthood, these outcomes are not inevitable and can often be prevented with the right support systems.

Emotional and Behavioral Signs to Watch For

Teens may not always let parents or other adults around them know how deeply the impact of divorce is affecting them. Teens may insist they’re fine even when they’re struggling. Because every teen copes differently, it’s helpful for parents to stay attentive and notice any changes in behavior. 

This might look like:

• Sudden withdrawal or isolation — pulling away from family, friends, or activities they once enjoyed
• Changes in school performance — falling grades, lack of motivation, or skipping school 
• Risky or defiant behavior — aggression, substance use, or breaking rules 
• Mood swings — emotional ups and downs, including irritability, sadness, or sudden outbursts

By recognizing these signs early, parents can help teens with their mental health and get them the support and resources they need to cope with the unique emotional challenges that divorce often brings.

The Impact on Sons vs. Daughters

The effects of divorce on teens can vary depending on gender, though every child is unique. Sons and daughters often react and adjust to family changes in different ways, but individual personalities, coping skills, and family dynamics play a big role in how each teen responds.

Effects of divorce on teenage sons

Sons may be more likely to develop behavioral problems after parental divorce compared to daughters. Instead of expressing their emotions, sons may act out. This can include aggression, defiance, or risky behaviors. Without proper guidance, these behaviors can escalate, leading to trouble at home, school, or with their peers. It’s best to intervene before you find yourself with an out-of-control teenager. 

Effects of divorce on teenage daughters

Daughters are more likely to express emotional effects of divorce, making them more vulnerable to depression, anxiety, and withdrawal. Teenage daughters may struggle with self-esteem and worry about future relationships. Increased risky behaviors are another effect of divorce on teenage daughters, which can continue into young adulthood.

How to Support Your Teen Through Divorce

Supporting your teen through your divorce isn’t about having all the right answers. It’s about being present, patient, and proactive. While every teenager will react differently, there are practical ways parents can help ease the transition and strengthen their relationship during this challenging time.

Encourage open communication

One of the most important ways to support your teen through divorce is by keeping the lines of communication open. Older teens can benefit from being able to share their feelings with trusted adults, peers, or mental health professionals. Teens may seek support from non-parental adults, such as coaches, teachers, extended family members, and community members.

Parents should listen without judgment, validate their teens’ feelings, and avoid forcing conversations, allowing teens to open up in their own time. Some teens may prefer distractions like hobbies or sports to cope, giving them safe opportunities to talk about their emotions. 

Maintain routines and stability

Divorce often brings major changes to a teen’s daily life, like new living arrangements, shifting roles, and different household rules. Constantly switching between homes with different expectations can be confusing and stressful for teens. 

Maintaining consistent routines, wherever possible, can help reduce this instability. Simple things like regular mealtimes, school routines, and agreed-upon rules across both households can provide a sense of normalcy. When maintaining a routine isn’t possible, clear communication and realistic expectations can help teens navigate transitions with less anxiety.

Reassure them it’s not their fault

Divorce can be confusing for teens, and many struggle with feelings of guilt or responsibility for their parents’ separation. It’s important for teens to hear that the divorce was not their fault. Even when parents tell their teens the divorce isn’t their fault, it helps to keep repeating it.

Parents can help by facilitating an open and honest conversation with their kids about why relationships end and reassure them that they can’t control adult relationships. Reinforcing this truth can ease feelings of guilt. It can also help teens focus on their own well-being and future relationships without blame.

Don’t involve them in your conflicts with your ex

Teens can feel like they’re caught in the middle of their parents’ conflicts during a divorce. This can be especially true if parents engage in inappropriate co-parenting behavior like using children to pass along messages. When teens hear their parents argue or have to listen to insults about the other parent, it can add unnecessary emotional strain and damage their relationship with both parents. 

To better support teens and engage in effective co-parenting, parents should avoid using them as messengers or partners to vent to about their ex. Parents should establish clear co-parenting boundaries so teens know they aren’t responsible for managing adult conflicts. 

Consider family or individual therapy

Divorce can bring up emotions and challenges that are hard for teens to manage on their own. Divorce counseling for your teen provides a safe space for adolescents to express their feelings, learn healthy coping skills for teens, and rebuild trust in relationships. Family therapy can also help improve communication, set boundaries, and reduce conflict between parents and teens. 

Professional support may be especially helpful when teens show warning signs, such as withdrawal, mood swings, or changes in behavior. Specialized types of therapy for teens can help them understand that their emotional well-being matters and it’s OK to ask for help when they need it.

Helping Teens Heal: Support Matters More Than You Know

While divorce is a significant transition, it can also mark the beginning of a healthier, more peaceful chapter for families. With the right support, your teen can navigate this transition and come out stronger and more resilient. When it comes to divorce, parents can play a crucial role in providing consistency, open communication, and emotional reassurance, even when your teen says they’re fine.

Therapy can be an essential healing tool. Whether it’s individual counseling for teens, family therapy, or support for yourself, professional guidance helps families rebuild healthy relationships and manage difficult emotions. Talkspace makes it easy to access mental health support from home, giving parents practical options when they’re unsure how to help.

Teens with divorced parents often develop remarkable resilience. Your support makes all the difference. By showing up, staying connected, and offering a safe emotional space, you empower your teen to heal, grow, and thrive.

When July hits, it’s all popsicles, pool days, and late sunsets in the front yard while the kids play. Then, out of nowhere, August is here already, and with it comes the knot in your stomach, reminding you that it’s almost time to break out the backpacks again.

If you get the sense that the mood in the house shifts as the calendar flips from your schedule for summer to your schedule for the school year, you’re probably no stranger to the idea of the back-to-school blues — or even, for some, back-to-school depression. For parents and children alike, the idea of summer slipping away can rouse feelings of anxiety about starting another school year again.

End-of-summer emotional shifts are common, but they can be overcome. With the right mix of validation, gentle structure, and small moments of agency, your family can trade August angst for steady confidence going into September. In this article, we’ll help you spot the warning signs of back-to-school blues, provide guidance on how to have judgment-free conversations with your kids, and build routines that protect mental health year-round.

Look Out for the Signs of Back-to-School Blues

Most kids are still learning how to name their emotions, and they might not come out and tell you that they’re feeling anxious about going back to school. More often, it’s the subtle (or not-so-subtle) shifts—dragging their feet in the morning, snapping over small things, or slamming doors—that reveal what’s really going on. As summer comes to a close, keep an eye out for emotional changes that may be tied to back-to-school depression:

• Irritability or mood swings
• Low energy or trouble concentrating
• Uncharacteristic changes in sleep or appetite
• Physical ailments, like stomach aches or headaches
• Avoidance of school-related topics or activities

These are normal responses to change in children and adolescents. However, if feelings of sadness and irritability, or changes in sleep or appetite patterns persist for a period of 2 weeks or more, it may point to something deeper that requires additional support. 

You know your child best. If you think they seem stuck in distress with no signs of improvement, know that there are multiple effective types of therapy for teens and kids. You don’t have to wait for a crisis to reach out.

Talk About What’s Coming

Sometimes, the best solution is the simplest: talk about it. Uncertainty feeds worry, but open conversations can help keep both kids and parents grounded. Even though you’ve been through this before, it can still help to talk through what to expect, including new teachers, classrooms, or even a new school. 

During the conversation, make space for any emotions that surface. Nervousness, sadness, and excitement can all co-exist. When we put our feelings into words, those feelings lose a bit of their grip. Perhaps the conversation will lend itself to a teaching moment, too. You might start by saying, “Sometimes naming what we feel makes it feel less scary. What about going back to school is worrying you right now?”

Validate and Normalize the Experience

It might help to remind your child and yourself that big transitions can stir up big emotions, and that’s normal. Feeling down, anxious, stressed, or unmotivated before school starts doesn’t mean that something’s wrong. 

Reassure your child that it’s okay to feel a little off right now. Validate their experience by saying something like, “It makes sense that you’re feeling this way; starting something new can be a lot to deal with.” You don’t have to agree with every worry to validate their experience as real. By normalizing emotions rather than jumping to try to “fix it,” we give kids permission to be honest with themselves and with us. 

“Going back to school blues is a natural reaction to the end of the summer. Parents can help their children with back-to-school blues by talking to them about their feelings of excitement, fear, or worry. Parents need to validate their children’s feelings as a normal part of going back to school.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW

Ease the Transition With Gentle Structure

Transitioning from summer break to school nights can mean that structure tends to return all at once, including early alarms, packed lunches, and booked calendars. Easing into that transition gradually can make the shift more manageable for everyone. By introducing gentle structure, kids may feel safer, more capable, and less overwhelmed by the impending change.

Reinstate routines gradually

Think of it as warming up before a workout. By slowly adjusting the rhythm of your days, you’re giving your child’s mind and body more time to get up to speed by the time school rolls around. Consider adjusting one part of the day at a time—maybe it’s bedtime this week, then earlier wakeups next week. Reintroduce things like screen-time limits or quiet reading time in small doses.

Plan small “anchors” for comfort

When there’s something to look forward to, the back-to-school blues become easier for everyone. What small but regular rituals can you implement that your family would enjoy? 

Maybe it’s a special breakfast on Mondays to start the week on a high note, or a family movie night on Wednesday to break things up. These “anchors” can inject small moments of predictability and comfort and remind kids that there are pockets of fun they can count on, even in the busy seasons.

Focus on What’s in Their Control

One of the hardest parts of the back-to-school season, especially for anxious students, is how much they feel is out of their control. They can’t choose their teachers or classmates, and they can’t slow down the schedule or extend the summer. However, even in a sea of unknowns, there’s still much they can control.

Research shows that planning, problem-solving, and agency all foster resilience, which in turn improves mental health outcomes in children and adolescents. Invite your child to exercise that agency by choosing new school supplies, decorating their desk, or choosing extracurriculars for the upcoming year. Even better, ask them what changes or decisions would foster confidence and help make those happen. 

By allowing them to take initiative, even in small ways, you reinforce the idea that they have a say in how the year unfolds. When kids feel empowered, worries get smaller, motivation builds, and challenges start looking less like threats and more like opportunities for growth.

Make Space for Grief and Gratitude

The end of summer can stir up a mix of emotions, from excitement about what’s ahead to sadness over what’s ending, and perhaps a little back-to-school anxiety about both. Encourage your kids to name and process those feelings to make the transition feel a little less daunting and more normal.

Look for small moments to reflect together. This can be during family check-ins, dinner table conversations, or even during casual conversation during a car ride. What creative outlets does your child tend to gravitate toward? Harness these as a way for your child to express what they’re feeling, whether it’s through drawing, journaling for anxiety, or creating a photo collage of summer memories together.

The important part is encouraging them to hold both sides of gratitude and grief. When we model that it’s okay to feel both at the same time, we promote deeper emotional learning.

“To help kids transition from the summer back to school, parents can encourage them to reflect on their summer experiences by journaling, coloring, making a scrapbook or photo album, as well as talking about what they are looking forward to in the new school year.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW

Keep Communication Open Throughout the Fall

The back-to-school blues or other emotional shifts don’t always resolve after the first day or even the first week of school. Settling into new routines, friendships, or expectations takes time, and every child handles things differently. You can’t handle the hard parts for them, but you can make it easier by keeping the conversation going well into the fall. 

What part of your day might offer the best entry point for low-pressure moments of connection? Open-ended questions like “What was something hard and something fun that happened today?” allow your child to lead the conversation.

Showing up with curiosity and empathy doesn’t require having all the answers. Your job is to help your child feel heard and seen. They’ll reward you by being more likely to open up, ask for help, and trust their own voice as they get older.

Get Supplies Together as a Fun Activity

School prep doesn’t have to be just checklists and stress. Turn supply shopping into something fun and collaborative by letting your child pick out pens or notebooks in their favorite colors, choose stickers to decorate their lunchbox, or splurge on a fancy planner that makes them excited about getting organized.

Bonus points if you add a treat to make it even more special, like stopping for ice cream on the way home. Best case scenario, it’ll feel more like a fun memory than a chore.

Get Extra Support if the Blues Don’t Lift

If your child’s low mood, anxiety, or behavioral changes linger well beyond the first few weeks of school, it might be time to reach out for extra support. School counselors, pediatricians, and licensed therapists can help kids build coping skills and emotional resilience that pave the way for improved mental health beyond school depression and well into adulthood.

Talkspace makes beating school blues and getting help for teens easier. With flexible, online therapy for teens and parents, you can connect with licensed therapists from anywhere—no commutes, waiting rooms, or carpools required. If the back-to-school blues are weighing on you as a parent, you can reach out for help. Support is available, and fitting it into your schedule might be easier than you think.

The teenage years can feel like a constant balancing act. Teens have to juggle academic pressures, family expectations, pressure to choose a career path, and the need to develop a personal sense of identity all at the same time. The dynamic between teenagers and emotions can be complicated, so it’s no surprise that stress and emotional struggles are so common in adolescents. In fact, recent research shows a rising number of teens with anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems. That’s why it’s more important than ever to find ways to help teens with their mental health, so they feel more balanced and resilient in the long run.

One of the most effective ways to support teens is by helping them develop healthy coping skills. Coping skills are tools that can empower teens to manage overwhelming feelings, handle stress, and navigate life’s challenges with greater confidence and resilience. Learning these skills during adolescence doesn’t just make tough days easier; it builds the foundation for emotional intelligence, positive decision-making, and long-term mental health. Strong coping mechanisms are also linked to better academic performance, stronger relationships, and improved self-esteem, giving teens an essential edge as they grow into adulthood.

In this guide, we’ll explore a list of coping skills for teens that are practical, approachable, and easy to incorporate into daily life.

Effective Coping Skills for Teens

Healthy coping skills don’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. Here are 10 simple, teen-friendly strategies that can make a big difference in how adolescents handle stress, emotions, and everyday challenges. 

1. Practicing deep breathing and mindfulness

Deep breathing and mindfulness practices can help teens feel more present in the moment, slow racing thoughts, and ease the physical symptoms of anxiety. 

Deep breathing

Deep breathing involves breathing in slowly through your nose, letting your belly rise as your lungs fill with air, then breathing out slowly through your mouth. When you let your belly rise with each breath instead of your chest, it uses your diaphragm (the breathing muscle that sits between your chest and abdomen). Deep breathing helps to bring more oxygen into your blood to help lower your heart rate and blood pressure and relax your muscles. A 2025 study specifically found that deep breathing exercises can help improve signs of stress in children and teens. 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to what’s happening in the moment without judging it as good or bad. It means noticing your thoughts, feelings, body, and surroundings, and letting them be, instead of trying to change or avoid them. Mindfulness can help you feel calmer, more focused, and less overwhelmed by stress. 

Teens can learn deep breathing or mindfulness exercises at school or from a therapist. Several apps can also help teens start using these techniques anytime, anywhere. Teens may consider using these healthy coping strategies before a big test, before or after an argument breaks out, or whenever things start to feel overwhelming. Just a few minutes a day can help teens feel more in control of their emotional and physical reactions to stress. 

2. Journaling emotions and experiences

Journaling involves writing down your thoughts and feelings. Journaling for mental health can be a powerful coping strategy for teens, helping them manage stress and better understand themselves. This practice offers teens a private space to express all of their exciting, stressful, or painful feelings. 

When teens keep a regular journal, it can help them see patterns in their emotions, recognize what can trigger certain feelings, and what coping strategies may help. Journaling encourages positive self-talk and can help teenagers challenge negative thoughts, which can boost mood and self-esteem.

A journal can be whatever feels most comfortable to you — a physical notebook, a note on a phone, or a Word document on the computer. No matter what type of journal, consistency is key. Just a few minutes of honest reflection each day can make a big difference for kids at any age. 

3. Engaging in regular physical activity

Physical activity isn’t just good for your body; it’s also a powerful tool for regulating your mental health. Regularly moving your body can help improve brain function, focus, and even academic performance. Additionally, exercise can improve symptoms of depression and anxiety. 

There isn’t just one right way to get moving. Some teens love organized sports like soccer, basketball, or swimming, while others might prefer activities like dancing, hiking, or biking. Some exercises, like yoga or tai chi, can also help teens practice mindfulness at the same time. Walking the dog, joining a local fitness class, or just playing outside with friends all count, too. 

The key is to find something you enjoy. When movement feels fun, it’s much easier to stick with it and make it part of your everyday routine.

4. Building a support network

A solid support network helps teens feel less alone when they’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Trusted friends, family members, and mentors can help teens talk it out so they feel understood and secure. Sometimes, just saying your worries out loud to someone you trust can make a problem feel a little smaller.

There are many ways to lean on your support system. It might mean texting a friend when you’re having a rough day, asking a parent or sibling to hang out when you need a break, or checking in with a favorite teacher or coach. Joining a club, sports team, or hobby group can also open the door to new friendships and connections.

5. Setting healthy boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is an important coping skill for teens. Boundaries are the limits you set to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. They help you say no when something doesn’t feel right and make space for the things that really matter to you.

Enforcing a boundary might mean turning down plans when you need time to recharge, stepping back from a one-sided friendship, or setting limits on how much time you spend online. Learning to set boundaries takes practice, but it’s a powerful way for teenagers to take care of their mental health and ensure they aren’t stretched too thin.

6. Exploring creative outlets

Creativity isn’t just about making art, it can also be a powerful coping skill for teens to help work through emotions, express themselves, and feel connected to others. Creative outlets give teens room to express feelings that may be hard to put into words. 

Studies show that engaging in the arts can support mental health by encouraging self-expression, building a sense of community, and strengthening cultural identity. For teens facing stress and anxiety, these activities can bring joy, calm, and a sense of accomplishment.

Teen-friendly creative outlets may include:

• Drawing, doodling, or painting
• Making digital art
• Creating writing or poetry
• Playing an instrument or writing songs
• Singing
• Dancing
• Photography
• Making short videos or movies
• Crafting 
• Participating in a play

7. Practicing positive self-talk

Positive self-talk is the practice of using encouraging, helpful, and compassionate statements when talking to yourself, especially in challenging moments. When used as a coping skill for teens, encouraging and affirming language can boost self-esteem and improve emotional well-being.

Positive self-talk doesn’t mean ignoring tough feelings or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about challenging harsh inner thoughts and replacing them with affirmations or kinder, more compassionate messages. For example, instead of thinking “I can’t do this,” you might try saying, “This is hard, but I can take it one step at a time.” 

8. Limiting social media use

Social media can help teenagers stay connected to the world around them. However, a teen’s mental health can take a hit when they spend too much time online. Teens may use social media as a way to cope with negative emotions, but research shows that social media doesn’t do a good job of helping adolescents regulate their emotions at all. Additionally, those struggling with teen depression may be more likely to spend more time on social media.

“Social media offers us a glamorized and romanticised perspective; and for a developing pre-frontal cortex, a constant feed of media can truly complicate how teens integrate and guide behaviors and choices. Boundaries are critical for preserving and protecting our youth from too much exposure that can harm their ability to distinguish what is actually needed for social relevance, capital, and standing. Instead, less is more- allowing a young mind to lean more into experience versus an idealized and sometimes distorted image of reality.”

– Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C

While quitting social media isn’t always realistic or necessary, making a few thoughtful changes can promote healthier habits and reduce emotional strain.

Here are some simple ways to support more mindful social media use and protect against the effects of social media on teens:

• Set daily screen time limits using built-in phone tools or third-party apps
• Designate screen-free zones, like at the dinner table or before bed
• Encourage a digital detox when social media starts to feel overwhelming
• Curate feeds by following positive, uplifting accounts
• Unfollow or mute accounts that cause stress, comparison, or negativity
• Have open conversations about how social media affects mood and self-esteem

With a few small adjustments, teens can use social media in ways that support their well-being, rather than drain it.

9. Developing problem-solving skills

When teens feel overwhelmed by a problem, it’s easy to get stuck or shut down. Teaching them how to break challenges into smaller, more manageable steps is an essential coping skill for helping them feel more in control. Essential problem-solving skills include naming the problem, brainstorming solutions, weighing the pros and cons of each solution, and tackling the problem one step at a time. 

10. Seeking professional help when needed

Sometimes, stress or emotional struggles can feel too big for teenagers to handle alone. Therapy and counseling are healthy, normal ways for teens to get support when they’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or down. Talking to a counselor can help teens learn coping skills, process tough emotions, and gain new perspectives on their challenges. 

“Counseling on any level gives our youth a chance to ask questions safely. This critical step is one that firmly encourages the notion that connecting to support is more than ok; it breaks down antiquated ideas like ‘keep it to yourself,’ ‘deal with it on your own,’ or ‘don’t express.’ Counseling builds resilience by offering the tenacity to build strength instead with support and by increasing emotional fluency.”

– Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C

When teens reach out for help, it can make a big difference, giving teens the tools they can use for life. Whether it’s through a school counselor, therapist, or online support, professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Moving Forward: Helping Teens Build Resilience

Coping skills aren’t something teens master overnight. This list of coping skills for teens takes practice, patience, and support to be most effective. It’s important for teens (and the adults around them) to remember that struggling with emotions or stress is completely normal, and reaching out for help is a healthy part of growing up. 

Talkspace offers effective types of therapy for teens from a phone or computer. Talkspace can partner your teen with a licensed therapist who can help them build skills that last well into adulthood. Whether you’re looking for online therapy for teens or support with parenting a teenager, explore options with Talkspace today. 

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You might not see it at first. Your teen attends every class, texts friends, and seems engaged at the dinner table, but underneath, they’re feeling alone. Really alone. The relationship between teens and loneliness is a more pervasive issue than many parents may realize, and unfortunately, it’s becoming even more common. One study published in the Journal of Adolescence found that between 2012 and 2018, the number of teenagers reporting loneliness at school doubled.

Whether it’s due to shifting social circles, bullying at school, or feeling misunderstood at home, it’s painful for parents to see their child struggle with loneliness at any age. The bright side? You don’t have to have all the answers to help. In this guide, we’ll provide compassionate yet realistic ways to support a lonely teenager emotionally, socially, and mentally, one step at a time.

Start With Open, Non-Judgmental Conversations

If your teen seems to feel lonely, your first instinct might be to jump in and try to fix it. That’s natural when it comes to parenting teenagers — you just want to protect them. However, when it comes to teens and loneliness, what they need most might not be an immediate solution but rather a safe space to talk.

Create a calm, judgment-free atmosphere

Begin by setting the tone: put away distractions, be present, and let your teenager lead the conversation. Even if they don’t open up right away, your presence and body language can still convey, “I’m here, and I’m listening.” 

“Teens often avoid opening up because they fear judgment, misunderstanding, or dismissal. Parents can foster safety by listening without interrupting, validating their feelings, and showing consistent emotional availability without pushing too hard.”

– Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings, PhD, LCSW-S

Use gentle conversation starters

Avoid peppering them with pointed questions. Instead, try low-pressure conversation starters, like “How are you really feeling these days?” or “What’s been feeling hard lately?” These kinds of questions can open the door without putting your teen on the spot.

Listen without trying to fix

Then — and this is the difficult part — just listen. Let them vent without rushing to solve the problem or minimize their pain. Avoid comments like, “it’s not that bad” or “you’ll make new friends.” Even if you mean well, these comments can sting and prevent your teen from opening up again. Try reflecting back what they’ve shared instead. For example, “That sounds really tough. Thank you for sharing that with me.”

Reassure them that their feelings are valid

Lonely teenagers often carry the weight of feeling “too much” — too emotional, too dramatic, too sensitive. Your job isn’t to fix their loneliness in one conversation but to reassure them that their feelings are valid. Do your best to show up with curiosity, kindness, and compassion, no matter what. When teens know they can come to you without fear of being dismissed, it becomes easier for them to open up, even if it’s just a little at a time.

Be Available and Present

You don’t need grand gestures or gifts to help a lonely teenager feel seen. Just knowing someone’s nearby — both emotionally and physically — can provide a source of stability and comfort for adolescents. Even if your teen isn’t ready to move past surface-level conversations, spending time together doing something low-pressure, like cooking, watching a show, or running errands, helps rebuild connection and open the door for deeper talks.

It can also help model the kind of presence you want to offer them. Make an effort to put your phone down, make eye contact, and show up without distraction. Even small moments of undivided attention can break through the emotional fog of teenage loneliness and remind your child that they’re not alone.

Being available doesn’t mean hovering but rather being reliably, lovingly close. That kind of steady support can lay a stable foundation for furthering trust and openness.

Help Them Build (or Rebuild) Social Connections

Friendships can be complicated in the teenage years, especially after a fallout, a move, or a period of loneliness or isolation. Even when they want to connect, it’s not always easy to know where to start. 

To tackle feelings of loneliness, encourage your teen to engage in group activities that align with their interests, whether that’s joining a club, volunteering, or trying a creative hobby. The goal isn’t to force new friendships but to gently widen the circle of opportunity.

“Parents can support teens by gently encouraging social opportunities, modeling healthy relationships, and staying curious rather than directive, creating space for teens to lead while knowing support is there when they need it.”

– Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings, PhD, LCSW-S

If they’ve lost touch with old friends, help them brainstorm ways to reconnect, perhaps through a casual message or shared activity. Resist the urge to hover or push. Instead, offer quiet encouragement and practical support when needed, like offering a ride or providing a favorite snack.

Model and Encourage Healthy Emotional Expression

When your teen is hurting, it can show up in all kinds of ways like slamming doors, retreating into silence, or snapping at you. Whether you’re dealing with an angry teenager or one who shuts down, what they’re often saying beneath the surface is, “I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling.” One of the most powerful things you can do in those moments is to stay steady, calm, and present. Learning how to do that, especially when tensions are high, starts with how you handle your own emotions.

“Parents can help teens feel safe expressing difficult feelings by responding with calm, non-judgmental curiosity, normalizing emotional ups and downs, and showing that they are a steady, supportive presence no matter what is shared.”

– Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings, PhD, LCSW-S

Let your teen see you take a beat when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Let them hear you say, “I’m feeling anxious today, I think I’m going to take a walk to clear my head.” You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be real. Observing that kind of emotional honesty gives them permission to do the same.

When they do share, resist the urge to correct or minimize. The simple act of naming, validating, and leaving the door open for more conversation can help a lonely teenager come out of their shell.

If conversation isn’t getting you anywhere, offer other outlets: a notepad, sketchpad, or quiet drive with no expectations. Research shows that the simple act of creative expression can help young people foster a sense of identity and belonging in their community.

Support Their Interests and Passions

For teens who are feeling a little disconnected, finding something that genuinely excites them can be a lifeline. Hobbies and passions can ignite a sense of identity or purpose, and help teens find camaraderie in new communities.

You don’t have to fully understand their obsession with anime, video games, or niche music genres to be supportive. Express genuine curiosity and help them access tools or spaces that allow them to dive deeper. Maybe it’s driving them to a club meeting, finding a local class, or just giving them uninterrupted time to create.

New hobbies can also help your teen discover their identity while attracting like-minded peers. For teens who struggle to make friends and build relationships, discovering shared hobbies can provide a more accessible way to bond with others.

Be Mindful of Screen Time and Social Media Use

It’s easy to blame phones or social media for problems with teens and loneliness, and while they can contribute, the solution probably isn’t cutting off access completely. Instead, aim for honest, judgment-free conversations about how screen time makes your teen feel.

Consider asking questions like, “Do you often find yourself endlessly scrolling, and how does that make you feel?” or “Are there accounts that inspire you or make you feel worse about yourself?” These gentle prompts allow them to guide the conversation while allowing space for reflection without shame.

Rather than enforcing strict rules, which can easily backfire, try setting healthy family boundaries together. Creating tech-free zones, like during meals or before bed, can encourage more real-world connections as a family. If you hold yourself to the same rules, they may be more likely to stick.

It’s worth noting that social media for teens isn’t all bad. For some teens, it’s a source of connection and creativity. The goal is to help them notice what feels good, what doesn’t, and how to protect their emotional energy online. 

Consider Getting Them a Pet

For many people, including teens dealing with loneliness, the companionship of a pet can be a powerful antidote to feeling alone. Caring for an animal can also give a teenager a sense of purpose, responsibility, and routine. Whether it’s walking a dog, feeding a fish, or simply sitting with a quietly purring cat, these small moments of connection can relieve feelings of emotional isolation.

Multiple studies support the idea that pets not only act as friends and confidants but can also improve emotional and physical health among teens. Some research even shows that adolescents with pets score higher on measures of autonomy and self-esteem.

Keep your child’s maturity and energy level in mind when choosing a pet. If owning a pet isn’t realistic for your family, consider alternatives. Volunteering at a local animal shelter or pet-sitting for neighbors can still offer young people the benefits of animal companionship without the long-term commitment. 

Know When To Seek Professional Help

Sometimes, addressing teenage loneliness requires more than what conversations or quality time can provide. If your teen is withdrawing from friends, showing changes in sleep or attitude, or expressing feelings of hopelessness — potential signs of more serious problems, like teen depression or anxiety — it may be time to seek extra support.

Therapy shouldn’t be seen as a last resort but rather a proactive and powerful tool for protecting your teen’s mental health. A licensed therapist can help your teen process what they’re feeling, learn tailored coping skills for teens, and rediscover connection in a safe, supportive space.

Platforms like Talkspace make it easy to access online teen therapy. When in doubt, reaching out can be the most supportive step you can take. Learn more about how to tell if a teen needs therapy and explore the different types of therapy for teens today. 

Going to therapy is courageous — you’re putting yourself first and committing to your emotional and mental well-being. Whether you’re a child or teenager struggling with social anxiety, depression, or any other mental health condition, seeking help through counseling is commendable. However, it’s also natural to feel a little nervous about the process or to wonder if it’s confidential for children and teens. 

It’s normal for children and teenagers to want to know what therapists tell their parents after each session — but don’t let your fears keep you from getting help. In almost every instance, you can be confident that your therapist will keep any information you share private, ensuring your thoughts and feelings remain safe even if you have toxic parents. Being vulnerable can be scary, and it’s even more unnerving if you’re worried that your innermost secrets might be relayed to your parents or other people in your life. Rest assured, though, that’s not the norm in therapy. Therapists are bound by confidentiality, but there are exceptions where they might report certain details.

Keep reading to learn when, why, and how a therapist might — on a very rare occasion — share personal details about you and your sessions

Can a Therapist Ever Tell Your Parents What You Talk About?

Most of the time, no, your therapist won’t tell your parents what you talk about in sessions unless they have your consent. Confidentiality is a fundamental aspect of the patient-therapist relationship. It fosters trust and helps you feel at ease that you’re in a safe space to open up, share your feelings, and begin the process of healing. 

That said, there are some exceptions. For example, if you tell your therapist that you’re feeling suicidal or have a plan to hurt yourself, they may be required to inform your parents or a trusted adult to ensure your safety. Similarly, if you disclose abuse or another situation where you’re in danger, they may have a legal obligation to report it.

If you’re under 18, confidentiality rules can be slightly different than for adults in therapy. Therapists may be required by law to share certain information with parents, guardians, law enforcement, or the courts in specific situations.

Confidentiality in Therapy

Research shows that therapy can be extremely effective for most people. How effective it is for you depends on several factors, including how much you trust your therapist. To fully open up in therapy sessions, it’s vital that you feel like your environment is safe. 

Your therapist is bound by the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), a federal law that protects your privacy. In many ways, it sets the foundation for feeling comfortable and secure when sharing thoughts and raw emotions in therapy. Not only is HIPAA in place to protect you, but mental health professionals are also bound by a strict Code of Ethics that obligates them to keep the information they learn from clients in sessions private.

“Feeling safe in therapy is crucial to being able to develop a relationship with your therapist and confidentiality is a key component in this process. Licensed mental health professionals hold confidentiality as a core value in working with any client. Therapy is a place where you are able to safely discuss concerns in your life, challenges you face, joys you experience and learn strategies to cope with life’s stressors – at school, with friends, or with family.”

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

When Therapists Might Have to Break Confidentiality

For the most part, therapists can’t share details about you or your sessions. However, there are some very specific exceptions to this general rule for both child, teenage, and adult clients. Knowing the circumstances under which therapists are allowed to breach confidentiality can help ease anxiety or fear during your sessions.

Risk of harm

Therapists are highly skilled and trained in teen suicide warning signs, knowing when a threat might be serious. If you express an urge or plan to harm yourself or someone else, and your therapist believes you’ll follow through, they may be required to alert your parents, the authorities, or — if it’s not a case of self-harm — the person you plan to harm.

Abuse or neglect

Therapists are required by law to inform the proper state agencies (child protective services) about any abuse or neglect they’re aware of when treating minors. Abuse isn’t always physical. It can be verbal, emotional, sexual, or financial. Another form of abuse is neglect, which is the failure to provide basic needs and comfort. If a therapist knows or suspects you’re being abused or neglected, they have an ethical and legal responsibility to act. 

Legal requirements

While rare, there are times when a therapist can be subpoenaed to testify in a court of law. This is the least common reason they might share information from patient sessions. More often than not, a therapist will claim what’s known as “privileged communication” when being questioned. 

If a therapist knows about a crime, whether or not they’ll report the information can depend on when it was committed. Was it something that happened in the past, is it still going on, or will it happen in the future? These are all considerations they’ll take into account when making a decision. 

Parental consent 

As a minor, if you’re engaging in behavior that’s risky or potentially harmful to yourself or others, your therapist might be required to tell a parent or guardian, especially if they’re the ones paying for your sessions. 

Note that laws vary from state to state, so it’s a good idea to have an open conversation with everyone involved — your therapist, you, and your parents — early in the process. The therapist will explain when confidentiality might be broken so everyone understands the rules and knows what to expect. 

How Can Teenagers Protect Their Privacy?

If you’re seeking therapy or considering the different types of therapy for teens, there are steps you can take to ensure you feel safe and that your privacy is protected during sessions. For example, you can: 

• Discuss any privacy concerns you have with your therapist before you start having sessions
• Ask what the therapist can tell your parents
• Learn about the limits of confidentiality  

“Therapy is a great opportunity to learn new skills and practice speaking up for oneself. Since therapy looks a little different for each person, speaking up to your therapist about what is and is not working for you is crucial. Your therapist will appreciate this feedback as therapy is a collaborative process. Practicing advocating for yourself in therapy also helps as you can then use those same skills with others in your life, like speaking up to a teacher if you need extra help in a class.”

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

Start Secure, Confidential Therapy for Teens with Talkspace

Getting help from qualified, skilled mental health professionals is fast and accessible. Talkspace is convenient, offering therapy when and where it works with busy children and teens’ schedules. Talkspace makes online teen therapy easy, eliminating scheduling headaches or the need to commute to appointments. Plus, therapists on Talkspace follow the same strict privacy rules and ethical guidelines as in-person therapists, ensuring that every session is secure and confidential. With licensed professionals specializing in teen mental health, you can trust that anyone you work with will understand and empathize with your struggles.

The convenience of being able to message a therapist whenever you need or schedule regular video sessions (or do both) means therapy can be stress-free and comfortable. Talkspace also makes switching therapists a seamless process. If the first therapist you work with isn’t a good fit, you can request another one without missing a beat on your self-care journey. 

Reach out today to learn more about online therapy for teens. 

Updated 10/27/2025

Navigating the teenage years can be a complex and challenging journey for both teens and their parents. During this time, the teenage brain is rapidly growing and changing, and hormones are at an all-time high. These biological changes, combined with social challenges and teenage emotions, make adolescence a critical period for mental health. As a result, many teens are vulnerable to mental health issues like anxiety and depression, as well as struggles with building peer relationships and dealing with academic stress. 

In-person or online therapy for teen counseling can be a vital tool in providing the support teens need to thrive. If you think your child could benefit from therapy but are wondering how much teen therapy costs, read on to learn more. This guide will break down the factors influencing counseling and therapy costs for teens, ways to manage expenses, and affordable options for getting your teen the support they need.

When your teenager’s behavior becomes out of control, it can feel like you’re standing on shifting ground. It’s not uncommon for parents to think their teen is out of control, or to wonder if things will ever return to normal. The truth is that out-of-control teen behavior often reflects deeper struggles rather than defiance for the sake of teenage rebellion. With patience, understanding, and strategic action, you can guide your teenager — and yourself — toward calmer waters.

We’ll explore what to do when your teenager is out of control and offer actionable strategies to create stability and strengthen your relationship with your child.

Stay Calm and Composed

No matter the situation, it’s important to stay calm — even when their actions push every button. Reacting emotionally can escalate tensions and make it harder to connect. Instead, focus on responding with intention. Take a moment to breathe and consider how you ideally want to respond before addressing a heated situation. Remember, kids often mirror the reactions they observe in adults, making it crucial to remain composed. 

If tensions are high and your teenager is angry, taking a moment to step away and collect yourself—while calmly suggesting your child do the same—can help diffuse the situation. By modeling calmness and self-control, you not only de-escalate the moment but also set a positive example for your child during these critical years.

Establish Open Communication

One of the most effective ways to address challenging behavior is to strengthen your communication. Teens often act out because they feel misunderstood or unheard. Creating a safe, judgment-free environment where they feel safe to share their feelings is the first step toward progress. When your teenager expresses emotions and feelings, practice active listening by:

• Making eye contact
• Avoiding interrupting or thinking about your response while they’re still talking
• Acknowledging their emotions without blame or reactivity

Instead of saying, “Why are you always so disrespectful?” try, “I can see you’re upset. Can you help me understand what’s going on?” By validating their emotions and staying curious, you can build empathy and maintain positive engagement. It’s important to be aware of your body language, too. A rigid posture, avoiding eye contact, sighing, or placing your hands on your hips can be counterproductive to building healthy, open communication.

Set Clear Boundaries and Enforce Consistent Consequences

Teenagers may resist structure, but clear boundaries can actually help them feel safe and secure. Clearly communicate your expectations and the consequences for breaking rules, focusing on fostering healthy behavior in your child. Consistency is key — without it, teens may test their limits or see what they can get away with.

For example, if their curfew is 10 pm, enforce it with compassion, even if it causes conflict in the short term. Try to avoid overly harsh punishments, as these can lead to resentment. Instead, focus on consequences that align with the behavior, such as reduced screen time or a temporary loss of privileges.

Address Underlying Causes

It can feel impossible to know what to do when your teenager is out of control. A good place to start might be digging deeper and trying to figure out the source of the issue. Consider what started this change in your teen’s behavior, whether it’s acting out from emotional or mental health issues or school-related trouble.

Common causes of behavioral problems in teens

Oftentimes, out-of-control teen behaviors are a sign of something deeper going on. Understanding the root causes can help you support your child through these challenging years. Common triggers include:

• Academic pressure: Teens today face intense pressure to balance school, extracurriculars, and social lives, which can quickly become overwhelming.
• Bullying or peer pressure: Social struggles often fuel anger, withdrawal, or risky behaviors as your teen tries to navigate friendships and fitting in.
• Hormonal changes: The hormonal shifts during adolescence can make it harder for teens to manage their moods and impulses, leading to emotional rollercoasters.
• Mental health conditions: Understanding the root causes of out-of-control behavior often involves looking at your teen’s mental health, as struggles like anxiety, depression, or stress can manifest through their actions. Disorders like depression, anxiety, and ADHD are on the rise among teens, and they often result in defiance or mood swings.
• Substance use: Experimenting with drugs or alcohol can worsen behavioral and emotional struggles, making it harder for your teen to cope.
  

If you notice these signs in your child, it’s crucial to act sooner rather than later. Identifying the underlying issue helps you find the right support—whether it’s therapy, academic help, or peer group interventions—so your teen can feel understood and get the guidance they need.

“Adolescence is a time of great growth and change and can also be quite overwhelming. Given that there are so many stressors during this life stage, intervening early when you have concerns about your teenager’s well-being is vital. Intervening early builds a foundation for success before the concerns develop into a more complex struggle.”

– Talkspace therapist, Jill Daino, LCSW-R 

Strengthen Your Relationship With Them

When parenting an out-of-control teen, it’s crucial to remind them that you’re in their corner, even during challenging times. Research shows that parental emotional support during the formative years of adolescence has long-term benefits for both physical and mental health. Make time for your teenager—without any expectations. Whether you’re watching a movie, cooking together, attending school events, or diving into a shared hobby, these simple moments go a long way in rebuilding trust. They show your teen that they are loved, valued, and supported, no matter what.

Even the smallest gestures, like leaving an encouraging note or sending a quick text to check in, can make a huge difference. Your consistent support and unconditional love become one of the most important stabilizing forces in your teen’s life, especially during these challenging years.

Seek Professional Support 

If you’re at your wit’s end about what to do with an out-of-control teenager, it might be time to reach out for professional help. Therapists and counselors can equip both parents and teens with strategies to manage difficult dynamics more effectively. Family therapy, in particular, can be a helpful option, offering a neutral space where a therapist can guide conversations and help everyone feel heard. Some schools also offer counseling services, so don’t hesitate to explore academic programs that could provide extra support.

For additional help, Talkspace offers online therapy tailored for teenagers and their parents. With non-judgmental support in a private setting, online therapy provides your teen a safe space to share their feelings and learn valuable tools to better manage their emotions.

“Working with a licensed mental health professional offers many benefits to both the teenager and the adults in their life. Working with a licensed mental health professional allows your teenager to build skills and learn to navigate the big emotions of adolescence in a safe environment with a trusted adult.”

– Talkspace therapist, Jill Daino, LCSW-R 

Limit Access to Negative Influences

When your teen is acting out, their environment often plays a big role in shaping their behavior. That includes your child’s social circle and what they see online. Negative peer pressure or unhealthy social media habits can quickly fuel troubling behavior, as the effects of social media on teens often amplify feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and pressure to conform.

As a parent, it can feel like a tricky balancing act. Trying to control who they spend time with or restricting their social media can backfire, leaving both of you frustrated. But addressing issues early is key. Instead of imposing strict rules, try working with your teen to spot unhealthy relationships or habits. Encourage them to surround themselves with positive influences and set reasonable limits on screen time. 

By teaming up with them, you empower your teen to make better choices—helping them take ownership of their decisions, rather than feeling like they’re being controlled.

Encourage Positive Outlets

When you’re faced with an out-of-control teenager, it’s helpful to think about healthier ways they can channel their energy. Encourage activities that match their interests—whether that’s sports, art, music, or volunteering. These serve as crucial self-care ideas for teens, helping them reduce stress and build self-esteem.

A teen dealing with anger or aggression might find relief through activities like boxing or running, releasing pent-up emotions in a constructive way. Meanwhile, another might discover outlets through painting or journaling. Adding routine and structure to their day can further support positive habits, giving them a sense of purpose and helping them focus their energy in a meaningful way.

Educate Yourself

During adolescence, your teen’s brain undergoes major changes, especially in the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that helps with decision-making, impulse control, and reasoning.

This area also helps regulate the emotional impulses coming from the amygdala, or emotion center, which becomes super active during the developmental years of adolescence. This can result in impulsive, emotionally charged behavior. At the same time, the brain is pruning away unused neural connections and strengthening others, making teens more sensitive to peer influence and more likely to take risks.

While these changes don’t excuse problematic behavior, they do shed light on why teens may struggle with self-regulation or make risky choices. Understanding these developmental shifts allows you to approach challenges with more empathy and adopt strategies that support your child’s growth. There are plenty of resources—books, workshops, and parenting courses—that offer insights and strategies. Online communities can also connect you with other parents facing similar situations, giving you extra support on this journey.

Maintain a Safe Environment

When it comes to raising healthy kids and supporting troubled teens, a safe environment is crucial—physically and emotionally. Start by removing or securing anything that could pose a danger, like alcohol, weapons, or prescription medications. 

Emotional safety is just as important. Make sure your teen knows that home is a place where they’re free to be themselves, without fear of judgment or hostility. Encourage open conversations, listen without interrupting, and model calm, constructive responses when tensions rise. This creates a positive example of how to handle conflict and lets them know that no matter what, they have a safe space to land.

Be sure to work with their school to ensure that their support system is strong and consistent both at home and in the classroom.

Practice Patience

Change takes time, and the journey is often slower than we’d like. Patience is key—remember that progress is made in small, steady steps. Celebrate even the tiniest victories, whether it’s a successful conversation or a good decision, as these moments build momentum and boost confidence for both you and your teen.

Setbacks will happen—that’s part of the process. But with persistence, understanding, and consistency, lasting change is possible. Your support and belief in your teen’s potential can make all the difference, giving them the confidence to keep moving forward, no matter the bumps along the way.

Moving Forward as a Family

Parenting an out-of-control teenager is a marathon, not a sprint. While the day-to-day challenges can feel overwhelming, it’s important to focus on long-term growth rather than immediate perfection. 

Equally vital is the process of forgiveness — both for your teen and yourself. Mistakes, heated moments, and missteps will happen on both sides, but every day offers a chance for a fresh start. By choosing to forgive and move forward, you teach your teen the value of resilience and grace.

If you’re still thinking your teenager is out of control and don’t feel like you can handle the situation on your own, resources are available. Talkspace can be an incredible resource for both parents and teens seeking professional help to navigate these difficult years. Online therapy for teens can provide the guidance and tools needed to navigate this tough period and help your child thrive. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support—you don’t have to do it alone.